Dear Europe . . .
Yes, this concerns all of you. Hey! Sit down, Luxembourg! I don’t care how small you are. You founded this damn coalition, so you have to stay here, too. Okay, y’all settled? Grand. Let’s get started.
As a very outside observer (i.e. a ‘Merican, if you will), it seems to me that you have yourselves in quite a human rights pickle at the moment. The shores of Italy and Greece are swamped with refugees.
Shut up, Britain! Yes! They’re refugees, not migrants. I know you Limey bastards like to mince words, but not this time. Can I finish? Much obliged.